A Few Changes The Outer Senshi
by shampoo2
Summary: The follow up story to 'A Few Changes - The Inner Senshi'. The Outer Senshi discover the terrifying world of CiD...


Disclaimer: I don't own anything. I don't have any money. Don't sue me.  
  
Author's Note: This is the Outer version, taking place after the inners.   
Again, it's a parody. If you're a rabid DiC fan, don't take anything personally.  
All's fair in love and fanfics. If you have anything really interesting to say,   
all pithy emails can be sent to LiLShampoo@aol.com  
  
  
A Few Changes - The Outer Senshi  
  
The next day, the four Outer Senshi arrived at the mysterious, black, shiny building. Like the five Inner Senshi,   
they too had received a mysterious note. And as before, the mysterious building just happened to appear in front of them.  
"Perhaps they're going to do a photo shoot," Michiru said, fluffing her fluffy green hair. "I should have worn something   
better. More flattering to my elegant figure."  
"Yeah, like nothing at all," Haruka whispered, drooling.  
"Oh Haruka, teehee! You're so naughty!" Michiru giggled.   
"Shut up you two, this isn't a hentai fanfic!" Setsuna grumbled.  
"We weren't being hentai!" Haruka muttered, wiping the drool off her chin. "You're just jealous because you don't have  
a lover. You're an old maid!"  
"Look at this!" Hotaru exclaimed, not paying any attention to the others. "It looks like Sailor Mercury's computer!" She   
pointed to a small pile of technical looking rubble on the ground.  
The others looked, and agreed. "Yes, that IS her computer! The others have been here before us." Setsuna scanned   
the surroundings, looking for other traces of the Inner Senshi.  
"I hope they don't hog the camera," Michiru pouted. "Maybe I should have brought my violin. I look so elegant when I play."  
"Yeah, and really sexy too. It really makes me.." Haruka began huskily.  
"Either get a motel room, or quit being hentai!" Setsuna growled, whacking Haruka on the head with her staff.  
"Owwww! You old crone! That hurt!"  
Hotaru, meanwhile, was busy gathering up the broken computer. "I hope she has another one," she said sadly.  
Setsuna patted the girl on her head. "We have limitless replacements Hotaru. You can throw that broken one away."  
Hotaru dropped it on the ground and shrugged. "Okay."  
When the four Senshi entered the building, they noticed the same drab, capitalistic scenario the others had witnessed   
the previous day. They went up to the same woman at the reception desk, who was still picking her nose while staring at the computer monitor, and she told them to go to the same room the others had been to.  
Haruka banged on the door, and once again, Mr. Smith appeared.  
"Ahh, the outer Patrol. Do come in," he said, beckoning beyond the door.  
"What's a Parole?" Hotaru wondered.  
"I'll explain when you're older," Setsuna said, again patting her on the head.  
Michiru glanced around the room, and noticed there was nothing but a desk and a few chairs. "Where's the camera?!"   
she demanded to know, hands on hips.  
"Camera? I'm sure I don't know what you mean. Now, please have a seat and we'll get down to business," Mr. Smith said, gesturing at the chairs.  
Hotaru sat closest to the tall metal lamp in the corner. "Can I have this lamp?" She asked, her eyes fixed on the glowing shade.  
Weird child, Mr. Smith thought. "No, it's mine. Get your own lamp."  
Haruka was about to sit down next to Michiru, but Setsuna sat down first, creating a barrier between them. "Hey! Move it   
you old cow!" Haruka yelled.  
"Until you can control yourselves, I will have to keep you two apart. Now sit!" Setsuna ordered. Haruka sat.  
"I want that lamp," Hotaru whined, tugging on Haruka's shirtsleeve.   
"We'll buy you one on the way home," Haruka told her. "Now can it."  
Mr. Smith waited until the little episode had passed, then cleared his throat. "Yesterday I met with the Inner Senshi. Today   
I will meet with you, and later on, with the others. My name is Mr. Smith. I am the CEO of CiD, the company who now owns you."  
"Sir, only Haruka-chan owns me!" Michiru informed him, throwing a lusty glance at Haruka over Setsuna's shoulder. Setsuna pulled a lock of Michiru's fluffy green hair and told her to shut up.  
"Yes....well...you are now the Outer Patrol. Patrol is a CiD friendly word, unlike Senshi. Senshi is an evil word, which   
will no longer be used. Is that clear?"  
"Well no, actually, it isn't. I don't see..." Setsuna began.  
"Good, I thought you'd understand. Now onto your new attacks," Mr. Smith interrupted. "Sailor Neptune?"  
Michiru stood up. "That's me!" she said, batting her eyelashes prettily.  
He handed her a card. "This is your new attack."  
Michiru stared at the card. "Sir, I only know how to read music notes."  
Haruka stood up. "I do all her other reading. Let me see it, Michi-Chan." She took the card, and while she read, her free   
hand wandered over Michiru's body.  
"Hey! I said to stop being hentai!" Setsuna yelled. "Get your hand off her!"  
"Mr. Smith, what's with this attack? It's totally screwed up!" Haruka said, after reading the entire card, including the CiD greeting. "I mean really, Earwax Submerge? Michi-chan doesn't have earwax. I should know, because I like to..."  
She didn't finish, because Setsuna thumped her on the head, and the two got into a fistfight.   
"I want that lamp!" Hotaru complained, still staring at it.  
"I don't care for my new attack, sir," Michiru stated. "It's very silly."  
"Well so's this fanfic, so get over it," Mr. Smith told her indignantly. He shoved a card at Hotaru, who was forced to look away from the lamp. "You're Sailor Saturn I assume. This is your new attack."  
Hotaru read the card. "Rig...rigor...mor...tis Revo...lution. What's Rigor mortis, Michiru-mama?"  
"It's the beautiful glowing foam in the ocean."  
"No, you stupid sea slug!" Setsuna exclaimed, as she lay on the floor with two black eyes and a bloody nose. "That's phosphorus. Rigor mortis is what you get when you're dead - stiff!"  
"Oooh!" Hotaru beamed happily.  
Mr. Smith dropped a card on Setsuna's prostrated torso. "Sailor Pluto, I assume."  
Setsuna picked up her card, and squinted at the print, trying to see through her puffy eyes. "Hemorrhoid Scream? What   
the hell?!"  
"So give me my card already!" Haruka was eager to see what kind of lame new attack she would have to use. Mr. Smith   
handed her the remaining card, and she yanked it out of his hand, giving him a really deep paper cut.  
"Bowel Shaking? I may be hentai, but I'm not this gross!" Haruka yelled, waving her hand around, hoping it would hit something.  
"Why do we need new attacks, sir? I rather liked my old one," Michiru asked, sadly. "Mine was the best attack, even better  
than that silly Sailor Moons!"  
"I'd explain, but I'm just going to snap my fingers and you'll all understand. It's easier that way, and besides, the author   
doesn't want to explain it all over again," Mr. Smith replied. He snapped his fingers, and they all understood. Well, sort of.   
Enough to be really confused.   
Hotaru raised her hand. "Sir, I need to go potty."  
"Isn't she diaper trained yet?" Mr. Smith grumbled.  
"Try and hold it in a little longer," Setsuna instructed.  
"Okay, but..."  
"Now, our next change will be names," Mr. Smith interrupted.  
"Names?"  
"CiD has decided your names are too foreign. We don't like them, and neither do our viewers. So you will have new names. Michiru, you are now Michelle. Haruka, you are now Amara. Setsuna, you are now Trista, although we might change it to   
Susan or Celia. Hotaru, your name will remain the same. We can't decide if it's Helen, Sharon, Christine, Bertha, Maude, or Olga. So we'll just keep it Hotaru."  
Three sets of jaws dropped to the ground. "Michelle? I really do not care for that name!" Michiru muttered.  
"Amara sounds too feminine," Haruka growled. "Can it be changed to Bob?"  
"Oooh Bob...that's a sexy name!" Michiru purred.  
Haruka grinned at her lover. "Like that, huh?"   
"Trista? Where the hell did you come up with that name?!"  
"I have to go potty!"  
"Oh honestly!" Setsuna sighed, grabbing Hotaru's hand. "Where's your bathroom?"  
"We don't have bathrooms here at CiD. No one goes to the bathroom. It's considered indecent. Which brings me to   
another change..."  
"I have to gooooooo!" Hotaru whined, interrupting Mr. Smith, making him rather angry.  
"Just go here and we'll clean you up later," Setsuna whispered.  
Hotaru obeyed.  
"As I was saying, another change will take place. Michelle and Amara, you are now cousins. You will cease to continue   
your disgusting love affair. It's too much for our viewers to handle," Mr. Smith continued, looking distastefully at the two lovers fondling one another.  
"What!?!?!" they both cried, not sure they had heard right.  
"Hallelujah! At least one change is good!" Setsuna burst out, happily dancing around the room.  
"Cousins? You've got to be joking!! We are not going to give up our true and pure love just because your viewers can't handle   
it!!" Haruka snarled, grabbing Michiru's hand. "I love her, she loves me, we're a happy family, damn it!!"  
"Sorry, we don't care about your feelings here at CiD. You are cousins. That is final."  
"Yes, so get your hands off your cousin, Amara! You pervert!" Setsuna smirked.  
"You old hag, I'm warning you..." Haruka started.  
"Speaking of old," Mr. Smith interrupted. "Trista, you are now in your late twenties. You are no longer a venerable, old being.   
We don't like making people older than normal."  
Setsuna blanched. She wasn't sure if this would be good or bad, but it was very very confusing. "Well Haruka, you can't   
insult my age anymore," she said laughing. There was one plus.  
"Well there's plenty more of you to pick from," Haruka retorted.   
"Woah, what just happened to your voice, Ruka-Chan?" Michiru gasped. "It's...flat! Monotone times ten!"  
Haruka blinked. "You're right. I sound bland. What the hell is going on here. I demand to know."   
"You don't sound bland, Amara, you sound American," Mr. Smith corrected.  
"I don't want to sound American. I may be tall and blonde, but I'm Japanese, damn it. I know I'm blonde and everything, but I AM Japanese!" Despite her voice, Haruka was fuming.  
"Shhh, Haruka darling, let us spend our last moments as lovers happily, together," Michiru whispered huskily into Haruka's ear. "And I don't mind your new voice, even if it does sound awful."  
"Right now?"  
Michiru nodded. So the two began to kiss and fondle, right in the middle of Room 103. Mr. Smith was getting turned on, despite his distaste for their relationship. Hotaru was off in a corner going potty, thinking about how she could steal the lamp. Setsuna was disgusted with the two lovers as well as Mr. Smith.  
"Mr. Smith, can I please go now? I'm not going to stand here and watch these two...cousins...make out!"   
"Yeah yeah, group meeting tomorrow, get that little piss-ant out of here on your way out." Mr. Smith was too involved in watching the lovers roll about on the floor to pay much attention to Setsuna.  
"Come along Hotaru. This is getting too hentai for me, and you're too little to see this!" Setsuna grabbed Hotaru by the hand.   
"I've seen it lots!" Hotaru exclaimed.   
"Well you won't be seeing it anymore. Now come along!"  
"Are you and Michiru-mama still my mamas and is Haruka-papa still my papa?"  
"Of course we are!" they all three exclaimed vehemently. Haruka and Michiru had heard Hotaru's question even through all   
their noisy foreplay.  
Mr. Smith cleared his throat loudly. "Actually, you aren't. Hotaru, you will not call them mama and papa anymore, is that understood? It's just too strange for our viewers to handle."  
"Umm..." Hotaru wasn't sure what to do. She wanted to cry, but confusion held back her tears. Just what was a viewer anyway?  
"Come on, we're her family! You can't be serious!" Haruka snarled, perking up from her horizontal position. She liked being called Haruka-papa. It made her feel special.  
"I am very serious. And you will do as I say," Mr. Smith said evenly, eying the blond tomboy and her aqua-haired lover. It was   
a shame they had to become cousins. He would have liked them to remain lovers.  
While Mr. Smith's attention was back on the two floor-rompers, Setsuna whispered to Hotaru. "Never mind what he says,   
we're still your family. Just don't call us those names in front of him."  
Hotaru nodded, relieved that she could elongate everyone's name again. "Can I take the lamp home?"  
"Damn it you little brat, that's mine!" Mr. Smith growled, loosing his composure. "What's with you and lamps?"  
"It's a weird fetish we've never been able to stop. Just give her the lamp, will you? It will shut her up," Setsuna sighed. She wanted to go home.  
"I need a new job," Mr. Smith muttered as he unplugged his lamp. The room became very dark. Fumbling around for the overhead light switch, he tripped over Michiru and Haruka, and fell on his face. The lamp crashed to the floor and broke.  
"You broke my lamp!" Hotaru shrieked in the darkness. "You will die!"  
Setsuna grabbed Hotaru by the hand. "We'll buy you a new one. That one was rather ugly," she said, trying to calm the girl down.  
"Yeah, it really was. Okay!" The present lamp was thus forgotten.  
Setsuna and Hotaru left the scene, finding their way to the door easily because they were Sailor Senshi. Soon after, Michiru   
and Haruka left to find a quieter place to finish their tryst. And Mr. Smith sat in the middle of the dark room, amidst broken lamp  
fragments, wishing he wasn't the CEO of CiD.  
"I must contact Sailor Moon about these changes. Something seems very odd, and I'm determined to find out what's behind   
this CiD business!" Setsuna thought as she watched Hotaru drooling over the lamps in the lamp shop. "My name will never be Trista!"   
  
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End file.
